Vanquish Fear and Panic
SURVIVAL Series
Confronting church leaders about sin can be terrifying and intimidating. Who are you to correct the pastor or elders? After all, they’re the ones who went to seminary, and “God put them in charge.” You may be a layman, an ordinary person with just a high school diploma. They, on the other hand, are graduates with masters or doctorate degrees. Quite often, church elders are also the educated professional men; business owners, doctors, airline pilots, and fellow seminarians. They are usually not just the average blue-collar Joe.
Knowing that God has placed it on your heart to handle a sin issue with church leaders is frightening! It may cause sleepless nights, depression, and even anger that the Lord has put you into this situation. You may question if it is God who is really asking you to do this, or is it just your imagination? In the event of serious sin found in a church leader, there may be a few reasons that may hinder you from going through with biblical correction.
Intimidation is probably the number one reason for not keeping leadership accountable to Scripture. After all, they have been to school and hold prominent positions at work. If you have not achieved their educational level, or are in their financial bracket, you can be made to feel that you have no right to correct them.
God holds pastors and leaders of the church to a higher standard. James 3:1 says, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.” Since God holds them to higher standards, so should the congregation. It is every layman’s responsibility to confront leadership about sin, if necessary.
A second barrier to confrontation is fear. Will your church leaders listen and how will they react? How will they treat you afterward? You may be putting your reputation on the line.
This can cause a lot of anxiety, especially if the person you are correcting is your pastor. “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
Third, laziness to the Scriptures is a major hindrance to keeping the Lord’s church holy. Jesus tells his disciples in Luke 17:3 to “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” Non-compliance to the Lord’s Word is sin. It’s a lot easier not to confront sin than it is to correct it. It’s a hassle. Be careful not to misinterpret 1 Peter 4:8, which says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins.” You might try to reason that you are being loving by overlooking a leader’s sin, but this is not the intention of this verse.
GotQuestions.org writes; “In 1 Peter 4:8 the apostle is talking about interpersonal relationships. As believers we reflect the love of God by forgiving others. Jesus told His disciples, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35). First Corinthians 13 tells us that love “keeps no record of wrongs” (verse 5). When we love each other, we are willing to forgive each other. Love covers sin in that it is willing to forgive.
“Love also covers over a multitude of sins in that it does not gossip about sin. Rather than share the offenses of our brothers and sisters in Christ with anyone who will listen, we exercise discretion and restraint. Matthew 18:15–17 instructs us on the appropriate way to confront those who sin. James 5:19–20 says, “My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” It is loving to speak truth to others regarding sin. First Corinthians 13:6 tells us that “love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”
“Another thing love does is protect (1 Corinthians 13:7). Love does not cover over a multitude of sin by sweeping matters under the rug. Some have appealed to the forgiving nature of love in their attempt to hide indiscretion. For example, rather than report child abuse, a church might cover it up. This is not what true love does. Love protects by helping both the victim and the offender, and it also strives to prevent further offenses.
“Love covering sin also does not mean we disregard our own emotions or ignore our personal boundaries. We cannot “cover” sin by denying that it hurt us. We cover sin by acknowledging it and then extending the forgiveness God has given us to others”
(What does it mean that love covers a multitude of sins?).
Too many of today’s pastors and leaders want authority in the church, but don’t want to be held accountable to God’s biblical commands for leadership in 1 Tim. 3:1-7, Titus 1:5-9 and1 Peter 5:1-4. From a survey found on Pastoral Care, Inc., only 66% of church members expect a minister to live at a higher moral standard than themselves! How sad. The expectations should be 100%.
Is the congregation to be the sin patrol for church leadership? No! But the pastor and leaders should KNOW, EXPECT, and WANT to be held to the higher standards of Scripture. Instead of hanging around the minority of people who will avoid holding them accountable to God’s Word, they should strive to hang out with the 66% of church members who expect higher standards.
With all this being said, what kinds of sin should the layman confront their leaders about?
1. Moral Failure. According to a 2016 Barna Report, they did “a massive research project examining teenagers, young adults, and Americans in general as well as pastors and youth pastors – more than 3,000 interviews in total across a range of questions.” Regarding pornography:
- Most pastors (57%) and youth pastors (64%) admit they have struggled with it, either currently or in the past.
- Overall, 14% of pastors and 21% of youth pastors admit they currently struggle with viewing it.
- About 5% of pastors and 12% of youth pastors say they are addicted to it.
- The vast majority of faith leaders who struggle with pornography say this has significantly affected their ministry in a negative manner. (NO KIDDING!)
- It is not clear why, but youth pastors are twice as likely as pastors to report this kind of unfavorable impact.
- Only 8% of pastors think that a pastor should resign their position if they are struggling with pornography. Most pastors think they should deal with the struggle through counseling or accountability.
- In contrast, 41% of adult Christians think that pastors should be fired or asked to resign if they are found to be using pornography. Younger Christians are more likely to take a grace-filled approach.
- (Pastoral Care inc.)
First of all, it’s not surprising that youth pastors are more likely to view pornography. They are men who are generally too young and immature for their position. Second, the last two statistics should shock you! It shows how pathetic the state of the modern church is. Only 8% of pastors think that a pastor should resign over pornography. And, only 41% of adult Christians think that pastors should be fired over it. SHOCKING!!! This is what you call “Job Security”! Doesn’t it make you wonder in our day and age how far a pastor or church leader has to sin before they are removed from their position?
2. Unrepentant or Unapologetic Sin. 1 Corinthians 5:11-13 – “But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. ‘Purge the evil person from among you.’”
3. Divisive Behavior. Titus 3:10-11 – “As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.”
Church Example: A recap from my previous post, “Undue haste makes waste…” where the church leaders were excusing false doctrine.
When we confronted them about it, they wouldn’t listen to us, and then accused my wife and me of gossip, being judgmental and unloving. Since we weren’t getting anywhere with the pastor and elders over many months, we then contacted the deacons to request a meeting with them. Because of what is said in 1 Timothy 5:19-20 reads, “Do not listen to an accusation against an elder unless it is confirmed by two or three witnesses. Those who sin should be reprimanded in front of the whole church; this will serve as a strong warning to others.”, we decided to tell it to the church through the deacons.
After hearing from us, one or more of the deacons quickly notified the pastor, then the pastor promptly requested a meeting with them before we could even have a voice. Knowing that we wanted to address his and the elder’s sin with the deacons, the pastor completely derailed any meeting that we could have had. We never heard from anyone in that church again!
None of the deacons contacted us about our position in the matter. The leadership of this church convinced and divided the deacons against us to the point that the deacons did not feel the need to hear our side. In a regular court system, this would be illegal.
While you may be thinking that this was a cunning and underhanded move, and how unfair, these kinds of situations continue to happen in churches all across America. The problem is that you don’t expect this behavior in the Christian church. You expect this in the world, where the majority of people are non-Christians who don’t have the Holy Spirit to convict them of their sin, and they do whatever they please. Where is the Holy Spirit’s conviction in the life of the sinning leader? If this leader doesn’t acknowledge or repent of his sin, then it is likely that they may not be saved in the first place. Yes, there are plenty of unsaved religious leaders filling pulpits today. You must carefully examine their doctrine and practice of it.
4. Heretical or False Teaching. 1 Timothy 1:3-4 – “As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith.”
Even though some of the men in church example #1 acknowledged that they disagreed with their friend’s false doctrine of egalitarianism, they were not protecting the church from it. In the first meeting, I suggested that the pastor should at least teach against it and name the word “egalitarianism” so that the rest of the church would know what it was. He did not. He refused to even utter the word. To them, egalitarianism was not a sin or false doctrine. Instead, they wrote to me stating that while they did not agree with egalitarianism, they considered it just another worldview! These men went to great lengths to protect their friends and their false doctrine. Your leaders may not be teaching heretical doctrine, but are they overlooking it?
5. Doing Things in Secret. Many church leaders will do things in secret or make executive decisions without the knowledge of their congregation. In that same church, one of the elders, along with his wife, asked the congregation to help them raise $6,000 for a mission’s trip to Russia. They received the money. What the church didn’t know was that they also used these funds to add on a personal trip to France. Since they were the pastor’s best friends, it was excused.
Church Example: Another pastor asked the congregation for a few thousand dollars for a mission’s trip overseas, but was unable to raise the money. But, shortly before his departure date, he suddenly became funded and let the congregation know that God had supplied the money. When he returned two weeks later, we learned that he had made the executive decision to take the money from funds specifically donated for the badly needed carpet replacement. But, since “God told him to go,” the elders of the church went along with it!
The biblical qualifications of 1 Tim. 3:1-7, Titus 1:5-9 and 1 Peter 5:1-4 to be a pastor was never brought up to the congregation. His only qualifications were what he wrote about himself in his resume: How he was qualified by having graduated from an ivy league school in business, and being raised in a Christian family.
6. Not meeting the biblical qualifications for church leaders as described in 1 Tim. 3:1-7, Titus 1:5-9, and 1 Peter 5:1-4. If a man fails to practice, or does not possess these biblical character traits, he has disqualified himself from church leadership. If a man feels that these qualities are an effort to practice, then he is not mature enough for the position. The reason these men are called elders is that they are older and have experience living a spiritually mature life. They have proven themselves over the years. For young men to say that they are ready for church leadership is arrogance.
Unfortunately, the average Christian church doesn’t seriously require, or even know, what the biblical requirements are for its leadership. So, if the church leaders were to sin in any of the above categories, laymen wouldn’t recognize it or excuse their sin since we are all sinners and make mistakes. Comments like “Who are we to judge?” and “We are supposed to honor our leaders!” embody the exact ideology that unbiblically qualified men want from their congregations.
These men actually believe that God has called them, and that they are fulfilling biblical requirements. When challenged, their character may become unhinged as they feel threatened. A godly leader, if found in serious sin, would repent and ask the church for forgiveness. Then, he would willingly step down from his position out of respect for Christ and His Church.
I understand the fear and anxiety in confronting leadership. I’ve been there a few times. Know that many of these men react this way because they feel intimidated and are afraid of losing their positions and salaries. They went on the defensive. By me confronting their sin or unbiblical practices, they took it as an attack on their leadership in the church. Like some of the pastors mentioned in my examples, they couldn’t see or understand my concern for the church.
Despite the worry and the uneasiness of a negative encounter, you need to be obedient to Scripture. Carefully review the following verses:
- “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1)
- “As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” (1 Timothy 5:20)
- “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” (James 5:20)
To follow Scripture is to follow Christ. In Luke 10, Jesus appointed seventy-two men to preach the Gospel. This is what He told them; “Go your way; behold, I am sending you out as lambs in the midst of wolves.” Christ had already told his followers what to expect. The pastors I mentioned previously demonstrated that their jobs and positions in the church were more important than doctrine.
2 Timothy 1:6-8 – “For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore, do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God.”
Is your comfort more precious than your obedience to Scripture?
By Rob Robbins, April 2019, churchfm316.com
Editing and Proofreading by Laura Robbins